Best 23 Toast Of London Quotes

Best 23 Toast Of London Quotes: A Hilarious Journey Through the Witty World of Steven Toast

If you haven’t heard of Toast of London, then you’re in for a treat! This British sitcom created by Arthur Mathews and Matt Berry follows the eccentric life of Steven Toast, an eccentric, washed-up actor with a larger-than-life personality. Toast of London is known for its sharp writing, hilarious characters, and memorable quotes that have become a part of pop culture. In this article, we will take you on a journey through the best 23 Toast of London quotes, guaranteed to make you laugh out loud.

1. “Yes, I can hear you, Clem Fandango!”

This quote has become one of the most iconic lines from the show. Toast’s ongoing frustration with his incompetent voice-over director, Clem Fandango, is a recurring joke that never fails to amuse.

2. “I’m not a politician, I’m an actor! I can’t walk past a mirror without looking in it.”

Toast’s self-absorbed personality shines through in this line, perfectly capturing his narcissism and self-obsession.

3. “I don’t mean to sound boastful, but I’ve been in the business for 40 years, and I’ve never done an advert.”

Toast’s delusions of grandeur are on full display in this quote. Despite his lack of success, he maintains an unwarranted sense of superiority.

4. “I can do anything. I’m an actor.”

Toast’s unwavering belief in his own abilities often leads to hilarious situations. This quote highlights his misplaced confidence in his versatility as an actor.

5. “I’m a virtuoso of the stage, a master of the screen! I can do anything!”

Once again, Toast’s self-proclaimed talent takes center stage. His exaggerated claims of expertise never fail to entertain.

6. “I’m not a pedant, I’m a well-educated man who knows how to pronounce ‘pedant.'”

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Toast’s witty wordplay is showcased in this quote. He effortlessly turns his own pedantic tendencies into a humorous statement.

7. “I’ve got a fantastic agent. He’s managed to get me the lead role in a play. Unfortunately, it’s in a Croatian theater, and it’s in Croatian.”

Toast’s perpetual bad luck with career opportunities is a running theme in the show. This quote perfectly captures his knack for stumbling into less than ideal situations.

8. “I’m not an actor, I’m a thespian.”

Toast’s inflated sense of self-importance is evident in this quote. He insists on being referred to as a thespian, elevating his status above that of a mere actor.

9. “I’m not a fan of the phrase ‘break a leg.’ I prefer ‘snap your femur in half.'”

Toast’s dark sense of humor is on display with this quote. He takes a common theater saying and adds his own twisted twist to it.

10. “I’m not a quitter. I’m just not very good at things.”

Toast’s self-awareness is refreshingly candid in this quote. Despite his lack of success, he refuses to give up on his dreams.

11. “I’m an actor, not a murderer. Although, if you saw me in Macbeth, you might think otherwise.”

Toast’s penchant for dramatic roles is humorously highlighted in this quote. His portrayal of Macbeth is, unsurprisingly, intense and over-the-top.

12. “I’m not a fan of French cinema. I find it too French.”

Toast’s disdain for French cinema is hilariously summed up in this quote. His blunt and unapologetic opinions always deliver a laugh.

13. “I don’t do adverts. Unless they’re for a luxury brand and pay a considerable amount of money.”

Toast’s hypocrisy is evident in this quote. Despite his insistence on not doing adverts, he’s quick to make exceptions when the price is right.

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14. “I’m not a struggling actor, I’m a very successful actor who isn’t currently acting.”

Toast’s ability to spin his lack of work into a positive is showcased in this quote. He sees himself as successful, even if his career is currently stagnant.

15. “I’m not a snob. I just happen to have impeccable taste.”

Toast’s arrogance is undeniable in this quote. He sees his refined taste as a mark of distinction, rather than pretentiousness.

16. “I’m not a man of the people. I’m a man above the people.”

Toast’s superiority complex is evident in this quote. He views himself as being on a different level than the average person.

17. “I’m not a fan of understated acting. I prefer to chew the scenery.”

Toast’s preference for melodramatic acting is humorously expressed in this quote. He enjoys stealing the spotlight and going over the top.

18. “I’m not old, I’m experienced.”

Toast’s refusal to acknowledge his age is evident in this quote. He sees his years in the industry as a badge of honor rather than a sign of aging.

19. “I’m not a has-been, I’m a never-was.”

Toast’s self-deprecating humor shines through in this quote. Despite his lack of success, he maintains a sense of humor about his career.

20. “I’m not a morning person. I’m not an afternoon person either. I’m barely an evening person.”

Toast’s aversion to mornings is humorously conveyed in this quote. His disdain for early hours is relatable for many.

21. “I’m not a fan of small talk. I prefer big talk, like global warming or the fall of capitalism.”

Toast’s preference for deep conversations is humorously exaggerated in this quote. He’s not interested in discussing trivial matters.

22. “I’m not a gambler. I’m an investor… in my own career.”

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Toast’s view of his career as a risky investment is humorously highlighted in this quote. He sees every opportunity as a potential game-changer.

23. “I’m not a loser. I’m just not as successful as I could be.”

Toast’s eternal optimism despite his lack of success is evident in this quote. He refuses to see himself as a failure, always holding onto the possibility of greatness.


Q: Who plays Steven Toast in Toast of London?
A: Steven Toast is portrayed by the brilliant actor and co-creator of the show, Matt Berry.

Q: How many seasons of Toast of London are there?
A: Toast of London ran for three seasons, from 2012 to 2015, with a total of 19 episodes.

Q: Is Toast of London available on streaming platforms?
A: Yes, Toast of London is available to stream on various platforms, including Netflix and Channel 4’s All 4.

Q: What other shows has Matt Berry been in?
A: Matt Berry is known for his roles in other British comedies such as The IT Crowd, The Mighty Boosh, and What We Do in the Shadows.

Q: Will there be a fourth season of Toast of London?
A: As of now, there have been no official announcements regarding a fourth season of Toast of London.

In conclusion, Toast of London is a comedic gem that has left a lasting impression on fans worldwide. The show’s witty writing and hilarious characters, particularly the eccentric Steven Toast, have given us a wealth of memorable quotes. From Toast’s self-absorbed rants to his clever wordplay, these quotes have become part of the show’s enduring legacy. If you’re in need of a good laugh, be sure to check out Toast of London and immerse yourself in its hilarity.