Best 23 Funny Quotes About Crime

Best 23 Funny Quotes About Crime

Crime is a serious matter that affects society in various ways. However, sometimes we need a little humor to lighten the mood and bring a smile to our faces. In this article, we have compiled a list of the best 23 funny quotes about crime that will surely tickle your funny bone. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy these hilarious quotes!

1. “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!” – Unknown

2. “I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.” – Unknown

3. “My friend got arrested for stealing in a supermarket. I told him, ‘Don’t worry, you can always take the rap peas.'” – Unknown

4. “Why did the burglar take a shower? He wanted to make a clean getaway!” – Unknown

5. “Why did the scarecrow become a detective? Because he was outstanding in his field!” – Unknown

6. “I got caught stealing a calendar. I got 12 months!” – Unknown

7. “I told the police I lost my wallet at the crime scene. They told me to keep an eye out for it.” – Unknown

8. “I just burned 1200 calories. I forgot the pizza in the oven.” – Unknown

9. “I’m not lazy. I’m just on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown

10. “I’m not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.” – Unknown

11. “Why did the burglar break into the bakery? He kneaded some dough!” – Unknown

12. “I’m not clumsy. It’s just the floor hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.” – Unknown

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13. “Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!” – Unknown

14. “I’m not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen me and Batman in the same room?” – Unknown

15. “I was going to tell you a joke about an escaped prisoner, but it’s a bit inside.” – Unknown

16. “Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!” – Unknown

17. “I’m not addicted to reading. I can quit as soon as I finish this chapter.” – Unknown

18. “Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play!” – Unknown

19. “I’m not a player. I just crush a lot.” – Unknown

20. “Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was too tired!” – Unknown

21. “I’m not lazy. I’m just conserving energy for a time when it’s really necessary.” – Unknown

22. “Why did the robber take a bath before stealing? He wanted to make a clean getaway!” – Unknown

23. “I’m not saying I’m perfect, but I’m pretty sure I’m not a criminal mastermind.” – Unknown


Q: Are these quotes meant to make light of crime?
A: Yes, these quotes are meant to bring humor and laughter. They should not be seen as condoning or trivializing real-life criminal activities.

Q: Can these quotes be shared on social media?
A: Absolutely! These quotes are perfect for sharing on social media platforms to bring a smile to your friends’ faces.

Q: Are these quotes suitable for all ages?
A: While most of these quotes are suitable for all ages, it’s important to consider the audience and their sense of humor before sharing them.

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Q: Where can I find more funny quotes?
A: There are countless websites and books dedicated to funny quotes. You can also follow funny quote accounts on social media platforms for a daily dose of laughter.

Q: Can these quotes be used in speeches or presentations?
A: Yes, these quotes can be used to add humor to speeches or presentations, especially those related to crime or law enforcement.

In conclusion, crime may be a serious topic, but injecting some humor into the conversation can help lighten the mood. These 23 funny quotes about crime are sure to bring a smile to your face and provide a much-needed laugh. Remember to always use humor responsibly and consider your audience.