Best 23 Aziz Ansari Funny Quotes

Best 23 Aziz Ansari Funny Quotes

Aziz Ansari is a renowned American comedian, actor, and writer known for his unique style of humor and witty observations. With his impeccable comedic timing and relatable content, he has managed to captivate audiences worldwide. Whether it’s his stand-up specials, TV shows, or movies, Ansari never fails to deliver his trademark brand of laughter. In this article, we have compiled a list of the 23 best Aziz Ansari funny quotes that are sure to brighten your day.

1. “I don’t even know where I’m going to be in three years. Because I have the worst taste in women. It’s like I pick the ones that are the worst for me.” – Aziz Ansari

2. “I like saying ‘No’ to people. Saying ‘No’ makes me feel powerful. It’s like ‘The Man’ has his boot on my neck, and I just say, ‘No, man, not today!'” – Aziz Ansari

3. “I’m an adult, but not like a real adult.” – Aziz Ansari

4. “You know, the only thing that’s changed since my last special is that everything’s changed.” – Aziz Ansari

5. “I have a lot of anxiety, and I’m constantly worried about everything. But the good thing about anxiety is that it keeps you prepared for any possible disaster that could happen.” – Aziz Ansari

6. “You know you’re getting old when you start to enjoy listening to smooth jazz.” – Aziz Ansari

7. “I don’t understand why people say they’re ‘bad at texting.’ It’s like saying you’re ‘bad at breathing.’ It’s not a skill; it’s just something you do.” – Aziz Ansari

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8. “Being single is pretty cool. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want. But then again, you have to do everything by yourself. So, it’s a trade-off.” – Aziz Ansari

9. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but hospitals have the worst magazines. It’s like they’re intentionally trying to depress you while you’re waiting to see a doctor.” – Aziz Ansari

10. “You know, I used to think I was smarter than everyone else. But then I realized I was just really good at Googling things.” – Aziz Ansari

11. “The worst thing you can do on a first date is try too hard. Just be yourself, unless you’re a terrible person. Then maybe try to be someone else.” – Aziz Ansari

12. “I hate it when people say, ‘Oh, we’re just friends.’ It’s like, ‘Yeah, that’s what they said about Ross and Rachel, and we all know how that turned out.'” – Aziz Ansari

13. “I don’t understand why people go to the gym. You’re just paying money to be uncomfortable for an hour.” – Aziz Ansari

14. “I love food so much that I don’t even need to eat it. I can just look at pictures of food and be satisfied.” – Aziz Ansari

15. “Whenever I see a couple on a romantic date, I always imagine them arguing about something stupid later. It’s like my own little romantic comedy.” – Aziz Ansari

16. “I hate when people ask me what I want for my birthday. I’m an adult; I can buy my own stuff. Just give me money, and I’ll buy something I actually want.” – Aziz Ansari

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17. “I wish there was an app that could tell me what I’m supposed to do with my life. Like, ‘Congratulations, you’re supposed to be a dentist!'” – Aziz Ansari

18. “I don’t understand why people get so excited about brunch. It’s just breakfast, but later.” – Aziz Ansari

19. “You know you’re getting old when you start noticing all the little things that annoy you. Like loud chewing or people who don’t use their turn signals.” – Aziz Ansari

20. “I hate it when people say, ‘You can’t buy happiness.’ Have you ever tried buying a cupcake? It’s pretty close.” – Aziz Ansari

21. “I always feel like I need to apologize for something. Like, ‘Sorry for existing, I guess?'” – Aziz Ansari

22. “I’m not saying I’m lazy, but I have perfected the art of doing nothing and making it look like I’m doing something.” – Aziz Ansari

23. “I don’t understand why people say, ‘Money can’t buy happiness.’ Have you ever seen someone frown on a jet ski?” – Aziz Ansari


Q1. What is Aziz Ansari known for?

Ansiz Ansari is known for his work as a comedian, actor, and writer. He has gained popularity through his stand-up shows, television series, and movies.

Q2. What is Aziz Ansari’s comedic style?

Aziz Ansari’s comedic style is characterized by his witty observations, relatable content, and impeccable timing. He often uses personal experiences and cultural observations to create humor.

Q3. Has Aziz Ansari won any awards for his work?

Yes, Aziz Ansari has received numerous accolades for his work. He won a Primetime Emmy Award for his show “Master of None” and has been nominated for several other awards, including Golden Globe Awards and Screen Actors Guild Awards.

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Q4. Are Aziz Ansari’s quotes suitable for all audiences?

While Aziz Ansari’s humor is generally light-hearted and relatable, some of his quotes may contain adult-themed content or language. It is recommended to exercise discretion when sharing his quotes with younger audiences.

Q5. What are some of Aziz Ansari’s notable works?

Aziz Ansari is best known for his role as Tom Haverford in the TV show “Parks and Recreation” and his own Netflix series “Master of None.” He has also released several stand-up specials, including “Intimate Moments for a Sensual Evening” and “Buried Alive.”

In conclusion, Aziz Ansari’s unique brand of humor has garnered him a dedicated fan base worldwide. From his hilarious observations on relationships and everyday life to his witty one-liners, his funny quotes never fail to bring a smile to our faces. Whether you’re a fan of his stand-up, television shows, or movies, Aziz Ansari’s comedic brilliance is sure to brighten up your day.